About me-How Life Flies

I can remember my life in the crib. Many would say that is ridicules but I do remember. My father would come home from work and try and pick me up and his hands felt like sandpaper so I would cry. He put me down that day and took that as hatred towards him. I felt his wrath ever since which caused me to become a recluse at a very early age.

From age two, I usually stayed indoors watching television; my favorites were The Abbott and Costello show, Life of Reilly, and so many others which caught my eye. Jackie Gleason was also a favorite of mine and would meet the man later in my life. I didn’t understand the shows at the time but the actors made me laugh. I never liked going outside even though the kids on the block were in abundance. There were at least three kids per home on my street and I didn’t start interacting with them until I was eight or nine.

When I was five I wrote shows and preformed in my back yard short one kid plays, I would dress up and act out these shows for about twenty in the neighborhood, mostly older men and women, the kids weren’t interested.

There is a simple reason to keep for myself. I always was a people pleaser even at a young age, but the moment people got tired of me I would be sorry. I was hit on the head at the age of five because the four year old neighbor was tired of playing with me. My mother said, it wasn’t his fault, probably something I did.

When I was a tad older, maybe seven or eight I started to see the funny in those shows I watched so many years before. And then I started to study the comedians of the time and developed timing for a future in comedy.

I was beaten almost every day of my life. Some reasons I could understand but crying at the age of three for falling down? I remember getting the belt buckle for not being asleep by seven, oh I was in bed, just wasn’t asleep.

When I was twelve, I walked into my home and found a note. I saw that all the furniture was gone, the home was empty. The note read, “We moved, ride your bike to this address.” I rode my bike for twelve blocks and found the address. It was a duplex. I remember that time very well because the moving men stole my record collection I enjoyed so much growing up.

The first person I met at the new home was Mr. Charles Shuhala. He actually was the first person who sat with me and asked me questions as if he was interested. Before Charlie, No one cared what my thoughts were. I had done many plays in school and my parents never bothered to come and see my talent. To this day, my parents never read anything I ever written. I preformed stand up for a few years at the age of fifteen till I was seventeen and tickets sent to them were never used.

Charlie asked me about my life and my writing came up. I had just written and preformed three radio spots for a local radio station and they played them. This was what got me excited. Charlie was amazed that a boy my age would write nevertheless sell anything to the media. I showed him letters from Warner Brothers, and ABC television turning me down for auditions because of my age. He told me to wait n the porch and went into his house. He came back out and handed me a 1950’s Remington typewriter as a gift.

I wrote over thirty scripts that year alone on that old typewriter; it was a blessing to me and sort of a prize for my hobby. Charlie also taught me, it was no longer a hobby when I was paid for those radio spots, and that I was now a professional.

Despite the rough lonely child hood I lived, I understood that the problems were not mine but theirs. I did a few year stint from 74 to 77 on a local television show called. “The Uncle Floyd Show,” which developed my skills as a writer.

Watching television, all sorts of programs, not just comedy taught me at an early age how scripts were developed. I wrote a piece for another student for a fee which won awards for him and even ended up in a magazine.

I don’t really know how I started to get interested in writing, I just been doing it forever. I grew up in a very Italian neighborhood and knew most of the mobsters who would send me on errands all the time. I knew that to write, you must write about what you know so I started my first book, “Growing up Goomba, at the age of twenty and finished it when I was forty. I self published it as an E-book and it still sells today. Since that book, I started lots more and started my own publishing company a few years back and published them all, seventeen in all.

The downside to all of this is that I cannot watch comedians the way normal people do. I watch for the timing, and usually never laugh, on the outside. Comedians over the years kept me writing, they inspired me. When I met Jackie Gleason when I was twenty seven, I was in awe. He took the time to tell me that a good comedian could make you laugh but a great one can also make you cry.

I stopped performing years back and focused on writing. The traveling was awesome but tiring. I however did some television cameos under different names due to the fact that I think Unions suck so I would never be a member. I also just did a movie which will be released in the spring called, “More than Diamonds.” It was only a five minute part but that’s about all I do this days.

Over the years I always did the comedy thing. I have written many jokes for many of the up and coming great comedians of all time. I have met so many of my idols growing up it made my life seem like a dream. I met “Grandpa Al Lewis” from the Munsters and we became great friends and I would visit him at his restaurant a few times a week. I met Singer Songwriter Harry Nilsson at a Beatle fest, then a few times at a bar, McSorleys, old time ale house in New York, and we too became friends, the thing is, he remembered me. He even used a line I gave him in a song, “Good For God”. It was only one line but to this day I tear up whenever I listen to it. It reminds me of the time we had. Harry passed away years back. I met members of “The Firesign Theatre, a comedy group that has been performing for over forty years. We talk a lot on line. I have met Paul Evans a song writer from the past and Soupy Sales. There is so many I wouldn’t want to leave anyone out. I guess I am going to have to.

I always loved to write but the more I live, the more I write. What started as a hobby so many years ago has turned into a life.

Now, I am writing books as well as keeping my on line stuff going. I have done journalism writing, short stories, poems, and even worked in the field meeting criminals and asking them about their illledged actions.

I never really write about one thing like a Stephen King so I write about everything, I know about. I even wrote a explicit novel under another pen name but will leave you to figure that one out.

To end this about me fest, I wrote an article about Oprah and to this day she and I aren’t speaking. We just don’t see eye to eye on things and if you are looking for me in her book club, she vowed I would never have a book publicized on her show. Well, I am still writing and she is ending her show, go figure.

So what started as a kid trying to get attention from anyone to a man who loves people very much that’s about all I have? I write because I love to, I started writing because I wanted to try my hand at it and never looked back. By the way, I have three siblings who also never read anything I have written because they just assume I am not that good. Dom Deluise told me once, “you just have to do what you love and expect there will always be people that want to tear you down but mostly people will love you no matter what, if you are good and committed to your work.”

I know, I am name dropping, David Letterman told me never to be a name dropper. Here are some other heroes of mine whom I have met over the years. See if you can remember these greats. Sandy Becker, Alan King, Redd Foxx, Bob Hope, Richard Pryor, Bud Abbott, Lou Costello’s daughter and Grandson, Louie Prima, Sonny Fox, Beachcomber Bill Beary, Chuck McCann, Officer Joe Bolton, Uncle Fred Scott, Tommy Chong, Opie and Anthony, Jim Norton, ....to be continued.

Thanks for the read for those who were interested.