Political Correctness

I am so sick of people placing political correctness ahead of real issues. (This one is going to be a pip) We are just too sensitive these days and we really need to lighten up.  I started out as a comedy writer years ago, years and years ago, I am talking before some of you were born.  I have been doing that these days, writing for comedians, acting etc and decided to open a comedy club and calling it “Club Foot” was to me, a funny name for the place.  Well when I tell you that my email got slammed with hate letters and I do mean slammed, I just could not find a reason why this would offend so many. 

I turned to my best friend for help and he asked me why I decided to name the place, “Club Foot?”  I said, “Stand up, foot, it is a club, Duh.”  He then explained to me that club foot is a birth defect where one leg is shorter then the other and even Dudley Moore had one and it probably offended other people that either knew someone with a club foot or has one them self.  He also told me that corrective shoes can fix the problem where one shoe is larger then the other making it seem that both legs are the same in length. 

I though about it and really did not know about this problem that so many have so I decided to change the name of my club, to “Midgets.”  I was going to hire midgets to wait on the customers, bounce, and was stopped dead in my tracks.  My friend told me that was worse then the other name I had for my club. I pulled out a sheet of paper and read the other names I had picked out.  “Buckwheat’s, Jugs, bungholes, Stutterers, Hymietown, Retard’s, Waps, and last but never least, Farts.”  I rattled off one right after the other and he just kept shaking his head nope.”  He suggested that I call the place, Banana’s but I refused because I know a lot of people in the porn industry that would be offended.

Needless to say, the comedy club was put on hold until I could find a good name for it.

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Did you know that the Peoples Court is huge in Italy, yeas it is, and the host over there is judge Wap. 

I was walking down the street and met a friend of mine I haven’t seen for a long while.  I am an Italian from Jersey and he also.  The conversation went like this,

Me:  Aaaa

Him:  Ohhh

Me:  Heyyyy

Him:  Yo

Me:    Jeeeeze

Him:   Later

It was great talking to him after all these years.

As some of you may or may not know, I grew up in Jersey, Newark to be exact and was smack dab in the middle of mob world so here is my Godfather joke.

The Godfather was hosting a party at with all his boys and their wives, and or their girlfriends when their wives stayed home.   The Godfather walked over to Guido and grabbed him by the cheeks and kissed him right on the mouth.  For three weeks Guido was frantic.  He always looked over his shoulder, under the hood of his car, and just knew that he was going to get wacked when least expected.  He met with the Godfather a short time after and the Godfather asked him why he was so nervous.  Guido said, “I know what a kiss on the mouth means, it is the kiss of death.” The Godfather laughed and said, “Guido, I don’t want to kill you, I want to bang ya.”

A drunk walked up to me and said, “I haven’t had a shot in a week, so I shot him.”

Political correctness got to love it.

Thanks