The Oil Game

Remembering that real men fiddle while Rome burns, what are we going to do about the oil spill on the East Coast.  Do we toss in some lettuce and vinegar and have a salad party?  It would seem if er let things go as they are, we risk Al Sharptons showing his face in Louisiana.  Yes, he, I am sure will find something to protest being that the birds are now all in black face.

The B.P. corporation I am sure is doing everything in their power to seal the leak.  Let me rephrase, I am sure B.P. is doing everything in their power to get all of their investment up and in barrels before they seal the leak.  B.P. could have stopped this leak on the first day but you know how important profit is don't you?

Meanwhile, back at the ranch,  I can see it all now, Obama and his crew sitting around the table like the writers at SNL looking for a real solution to this crises; You know they wont let this one go to waste. 

Obama:  So (short pause) what, do we do (short pause) about the oil?

Rahm:  Well Barry, as I see it we have three choices, the blame game, the double talk routine, or we can start cleaning up the mess.

Obama:  Well, (short pause)  can we see (short pause) what the teleprompter (short pause) says?

Pelosi:  Mr. President, may I make a suggestion?

Obama:  Yes (short pause)  but can you first ( short pause) sit down and stay down? You (short pause)  don't have to stand every time (short pause)  I finish speaking.

Pelosi:  Thank you, my legs were getting tired.  Maybe we can do all three. We can blame Bush and BP for an accident caused by the environmentalists forcing drilling so far off shore.  We can use the double talk to insure no one knows what the hell we are up to, and third, we can order lunch, I am so hungry.

Obama:  Hungry for power no doubt.  Well, (short pause)  what about cleaning up that mess, (short pause)  so we can at least (short pause)  show the people we are on (short pause) their side. (All three start laughing hysterically)

Meanwhile back at B.P. headquarters, The CEO and chief bird and bottle washer asks for answers.  One man yells out, "why don't we just cap the oil, it would be easy to do."  The CEO says, "And what, leave billions of dollars of oil in the ground?  We are in the business of oil, remember?"

Meanwhile back at the White House  Gibbs gives the media some answers.  "So in conclusion, we are doing all we can, as well as what we can all do to see to it, we all become involved, in seeing that this oil spill and or crises, is the first thing on our agenda. Now, I am not saying we are going to do nothing but what I am saying is that we are and will be doing what we should be during this crises.  Thanks, no more questions.

Gibbs exits the room feeling satisfied that he once again gave answers that the media will be untangling for weeks.  Gibbs meets the President in the next room.  "Well Mr. President, how did I do?"  Obama looks at him and says, ok, (Short pause)  now we can play (short pause)the blame game."

Obama holds a press conference on the old set of  Cheers. "We are so (short pause) angry at the Bush administration (short pause) for letting this (short pause) happen.  B.P (short Pause)  will need to pay (short pause) for all damages (short pause)and although they said (short pause) they wood, we must insure (short pause) that they will only after every drop of oil eats away everything on the shores of the Gulf, (short pause) to the shores of (short pause) Tripoli. I am the President, (short pause) and the buck (short pause) stops here, (short pause) I am collecting them.  I will send them ( short pause) a bill when all is said and done for everything (short pause) including all lunches we, Pelosi, Rahm and myself, had while talking (short pause) about this.

The president retires to his office when the phone rings.  It is the CEO of G.E.  He asks if the thousand wind mill turbines Obama ordered are on schedule.  Obama simply says, "Not to worry, after this one, Americans will never want to see oil again, well maybe excepting for the Italians.  The CEO asks Obama why he doesn't pause off camera.  Obama replies, "That's easy, when creating fantasy, one needs to really think before he speaks.

The Obama administration spent over three trillion dollars in his first year in office for frivolous things so we must ask ourselves why?  Why won't he get the real things we really need such as clean up for the oil crises in the Gulf which is now spreading to the whole eastern seaboard?  This answer is simple, he just wants the crises to continue to extend his own agenda.  Why did the chicken cross the road?  To vote for Obama.  Why did true Americans cross the road?  To choke the hell out of that freakin chicken. 

One last question we must all ask ourselves.  Why is it, Americans are so quick to help every other country in the world no matter what the crises, but no one comes to our aide including ourselves.  Where are the people in this matter?  The simple fact is, Obama turned down help from seventeen countries telling them that "Too may cooks spoil the broth."  I do think this President is either so far out of his mind, or just that stupid.  Those are our beaches, our wild life suffering, our business failing due to this crises and still we do nothing.  I guess Argentina, or some other country needs our help first.  Pelosi needed billions to help protect field mice, Emanuel is bust poling people in showers, and Obama, well, he just does what he does best, lets others show him the way, the wrong way but that's his way.