The Story of Thanksgiving revisited

The Pilgrims found themselves on yet another joy ride.  In those days, a lager and some hemp was never a bad idea, but since the store was not invented yet, munchies took a bit longer to calm then they are today.  They sailed along when they started smelling freshly baked breads, corn, yams, and cranberry sauce.  They pulled over and walked ashore. Enter Chief Soaring High.

The leader saw some strange looking people dancing and having a blast so he walked over towards these natives cautiously.  "You must be the chief, we come in peace and are very hungry,"  The Chief smiled and invited these illegals for dinner. "Sit, we smokem peace pipe before we eat."  The man smiled and said, "Yea thanks Chief, I am already out of my gourd, but a few more tokes for friendship couldn't hurt."  The two say smoking from the pipe when Pocahontas walks over.  "Daddy, can I borrow the canoe?"  The Chief reminded her that she was grounded for using smoke signals after curfew.  Thew white man was flabbergasted at the sight of the most beautiful wonderful woman he had ever seen in all his days.  He asked the Chief for an introduction and he said, "No, must ask wife if that is possible.  My wife has final say in all rules when it come to daughter, wait, let em me rephrase, wife has final say everything."  "Where can I find your wife Chief?"  The chief say, I mean said.  "She in Tee Pee labeled Crazy House.  She say she thinks she is a tee pee and a wigwam." 

The white man walked over to the tee pee and saw the mother sitting  staring at the wall whispering, "I'm a tee pee, I'm a wigwam."  over and over again  "May I see your daughter?"  The woman just shook her head yes and went back into her trance.  The white man walks back over to the chief and said, "Oh Chief, I know what's wrong with your wife, she is two tents.

The white man talks Pocahontas's hand and walks her over to the tee pee marked, "The Tee Pee Motel.'  He signed the book before entering, "John Smith"  which was a long way to get to this joke.  We move on.

It was the mother of all feasts.  The stoners were eating the food faster then the natives could supply it.  Three Natives were beating sticks on rocks making a musical beat so they all could dance.  Yeah, the fist rock concert ever.  One native stood up and said, "e must give thanks, the white man, the native, all may live in everlasting harmony, now rock on."  The music lasted through the night, the food was all gone, the lager was all finished, and when John Smith awoke in his motel and called out to his sweetheart and when she walked in, he saw a very ugly, fat, toothless girl.  "Hey Johnny, must you leave so soon?"  she said, John Smith replied, "listen, last night was a mistake."  She said, "Oh, I get it, now that you're sober, I look fat, old, ugly, toothless so you don't want me."  John said, "Listen, it's not me, it's you.  and ran out of there, packed up the boat and sailed away into the sunset as fast as they could. The Chief looked on, snapped his fingers and said, "Man, I lose more future son in laws that way?The few Pilgrims who stayed behide, lived in harmony with the natives.  Thats how the first Thanksgiving came to be.  HAPPY THANKSGIVING READER

Next week, How Cris Columbus, invented the first bank loan ever and how his short root, had everyone laughing at him.